She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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