Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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