i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
