My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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