Did you just see the Batmobile???
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
