Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
