dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
