Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
