R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
