very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
