That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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