I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
