Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
