If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
