good thing vaginas are great cup holders
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
