It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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