dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
