party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
