Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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