no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
