i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
