East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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