We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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