I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
