I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Alive.
So much puke
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
