i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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