In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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