SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
