My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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