He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
