Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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