i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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