Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
