remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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