i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
