NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
