garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
