I don't think brook has ever known best
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
