I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
