did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
