I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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