also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
