I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
