Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
