Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
