I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
