id be glad to
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
