hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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