I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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