If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
