Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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