4 words: hood of his car
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
