she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
