I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
